There was a time in my walk with God where I was in-between His assignments. We had recently moved from Florida to Kentucky and I was serving on the worship team and preaching regularly at a growing church. After about 6 months there I couldn’t ignore the fact that our doctrines were different. Not just a little, but there were a few differences that convicted my spirit so deeply, I had to step down and leave.
It was then at that time that I felt like God was finished with me. I had nowhere else to go, nowhere else to serve, and that everyone at that church had abandoned me. I felt used. I served God there faithfully and never asked for a dime. The next little while was one of the loneliest times of my life. Depression and oppression almost suffocated me. I would weep uncontrollably at times.
But the lonely times actually drew me closer to God. I didn’t push Him away even though I must admit I had a few harsh words with Him at first. But when there was what seemed like no one else, He was there. (Now don’t get me wrong, my wife supported me along the way and carried me through), but the loneliness got me to the point to where I felt God was the only one who really understood and could fully relate.
It is with this statement I close: If bad times in life drew us closer to God, then they’ve served their purpose. Through all of this I broke free from the chains of darkness with the joy of the Lord, and with a deeper understanding how much I depend upon Him. If you are in despair right now I beg you, just turn everything off and be still, He is with you. He’s always been there. Get closer. He has more than one plan for your life. I can testify to that.
Elder Steve Smith